| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2005|06:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jamie Cullum- I get a kick out of you | ] |
Happy late thanksgiving and merry early christmas since i'm pretty sure that this is the last time i'm going to write in here for a while since i never seem to find the time. The last time I wrote here I was pretty angry and the funny part is that I let the same thing happen to me again, but I was slightly more intoxicated than before. I really only did it for the split second of physical pleasure that it brought to me and later felt guilty about it because I thought it would get back to the person who first hurt me and told me he didnt want me. I now realize that I am an idiot for liking either of them and I need to just move on completely from them and not look for a while and hope someone comes to me.
So... funny story now. I definitely believe that God has it out for me. Not only did he give me a wonderful bladder infection (beautiful i know) and cold before thanksgiving, but once that went away he graced me with the most glorious illness in the world : CHICKEN POX. I know, i'm 19 how could i get chicken pox, i'm still wondering that myself, to top it off i had my period too. It couldnt get much better than that. I'm finally better now, healthy but tired, and sitting at the desk waiting and praying for something amusing to happen, but i know that ive got a snowflake's chance in hell for something interesting to happen here.
nothing else to say, might try to do some work, but im not sure yet. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 6th, 2005|09:44 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | David Gray- Please Forgive Me | ] |
my God it has been forever since i've updated this... i guess the facebook craze has sucked me in full force. its been pretty stressful around here the past 2 months. i started back to school, been doing okay i guess. i had a thing for a frat guy that was out of my league, but realized that my friendship with him is too valuable to lose. met one of his other brothers that i thought i could date, but i was sorely mistaken (we'll get to that in a second), gotten drunk enough to last me most of my life, watched my first lil sis (who is the best, by the way) get initiated, watched my best friend pack up and leave (that can tear a person apart), i told the man i thought i could marry one day that i no longer felt anything when i was with him (i've never seen that kind of a look on someone's face, i almost took it back but i didn't want to lie to him, i'm still kind of in shock over what i did to him), i went home for the first and last time this semester: i saw some of the worst hit places in new orleans and i almost had a panic attack from it (i don't like to talk about it in detail), dressed up like a dead person then got locked out of my dorm (my date locked my stuff in his room and fell asleep), this led to my first shacking experience (can't say that i hate it). i've also finally started to come into my own, i know what i want and i kow who i want to be. the only problem is that some of the things that i want i don't know if they're worth fighting for. for instance, the guy that i met, yeah i dont know if i should put my feelings into it because i think i fell for the slightly intoxicated form of him instead of the sober form; mainly because that's the only time i get to see him because that's my chill time and i'm usually slightly intoxicated as well. i guess that's the price you have to pay for finding what you want and having it still be unatainable. |
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| my letter |
[Sep. 14th, 2005|09:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fall Out Boy- Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner | ] |
who the hell has the right to bitch about a hard life when all they have been doing is chillin at the beach, hitting around some golf balls and getting drunk. dont tell me that youve had a productive day when all youve done is shoot the fucking breeze. and this is what makes me not want to get back together with you. i care, i promise that i do but i dont know if this is what i want right now. i picture your face and i see all of the things that i have always cared for, but then i take a walk through campus and i see all the potential to find someone that can totally sweep me off of my feet, even though my luck on this campus has not been oh so wonderful. i just want God to throw the right guy in front of me, whether its you or not. it would make life easier. |
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| going crazy |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|09:53 pm] |
blah blah blah... i am so freaking bored that it is ridiculous. i have
so much freaking energy and i have no way to do anything about it. i
wish there was something productive that i could do.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|06:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Better than Ezra- Hollow | ] |
so i have grown up so much over the past two weeks and i have also died
a little bit on the inside as well. even though i was blessed to have
my family and myself safe and protected, some were not so lucky. i was
also blessed to have little damage to my house (thank God for my
geographic location), but there are so many people that i know that are
now homeless, i cant imagine how that would feel. i know for a fact
that my wonderful Ursuline is gone, all 4 years of memories are
preserved only in photos and yearbooks. i will miss that beautiful
building with that rich history and wonderful atmosphere. my downtown
is in shambles, it was beautiful in its unique way, the bright lights
of bourbon will always be a great memory, and the flea market will
forever be one of my favorite places.
the one good thing about new orleans is that we will rebuild and we
will be as beautiful and as buzzing of a metropolis as we've ever been.
it might not be the same but we will try as hard as possible to make it
what it once was.
i am so grateful that everyone that i know is safe and healthy. everything will be okay, even if it takes time.
ill write more often, i promise. i owe to myself to write as much as possible.
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| im back |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|07:09 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | papa roach-scars | ] |
it seems like its been forever since ive written, but im back at school
and preparing for lockdown tonight... 5 days on the same floor with all
of my sisters... joy. not that i dont love them or anything, but its
the amount of estrogen and strong personalities put together on one
small hall that scares me. half the girls are already riding the
crimson wave (sorry to be so descriptive) which makes it that much more
tense too. im ready though, i wanna talk to some new girls and tell
them how much sorority life has made a difference in my life and how my
sorority is where they should be. the girls faces will be an escape
from looking at my sisters almost 24 hours a day. *please whoever reads
this if it is anyone at all, do not take this as me not loving my
sisters, it is just that i am not used to seeing them almost every
single hour of the day with the exception of sleeping.*
i really need to learn my lesson, as always i am the one
putting myself out there and going out of my way to see him after he
seemed so sincere about wanting to see me and hes not fucking home. i
almost about cried my eyes out on the way home and then almost cried
myself to sleep because it sucks so much that i care about him and he
seems to have the upper hand in this "non-relationship" relationship.
he knows how i feel and its like he uses those feeling to pull me
around and almost screw me over in a sense. i thought that things were
going to be different after the last time we saw each other because
nothing seemed wrong, it was like we were on the same page. the phone
call later that day said the exact same thing and then the ones
throughout the week shouted lets be a little bit more than friends, but
obviously that is really not the case. if he calls me today i really
wont be able to hold back my anger and i could care less what he might
say back to me. unless it goes something along the lines of "jessica i
am so sorry for what happened last night, i should have stayed home and
answered my phone the first time you called. i love you jessica and i
always have, please be my girlfriend and i promise never to be an
asshole again. here are some roses to try to convince you to stay here
with me." im out otherwise... its not worth getting my feelings hurt
over and over again.
in the slight case that anyone wanted to know about
my summer it was extremely dull, all i did was work, occaissionally go
to the gym, stay at home in bed with mono, and i went out and got drunk
once, flashed more guys when i was sober, and went to some workshops
and a family reunion, which is all i did this summer. im a really
exciting person. i wouldve gone out if it wasnt for those evil children
that i had to watch everyday sucking all of the life out of me.
its a long entry, but its been a while and i needed to get some stuff out.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|06:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Arkitekt | ] |
ok so my last journal will be the only trace of that person i gave enough credit to as to call him my boyfriend. thankfully work has started and that takes up alot of my time b/c who really wants to have time to have fun. my birthday was awesome, just a night of drinking with my ladies from UA, i couldnt have asked for better friends in all of my life. i have to admit that i miss my sisters a ton and i wish i had more than one that lived close to me. other than that i have no complaints, life is wonderful and i absolutely love my summer. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2005|05:43 pm] |
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so its been forever and a day since ive written, but to tell the truth nothing has really happened. ive been sitting at home waiting very patiently for work to start and in a week from now i will be basking in the glory of summer camp and all it entails. i have a boyfriend too now and its not who you would expect, jason and i are doing great with the exception that i might only see him once or twice over the summer. other than that there is not much to say, so i guess i will go. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2005|07:36 pm] |
|
(X)Napoleon Dynamite
( )Saw
( )White Noise
( X)White Oleander
( X)Anger Management
(X )50 First Dates
( )Jason X
( )Scream
( )Scream 2
( )Scream 3
()Scary Movie
( )Scary Movie 2
( )Scary Movie 3
(X)American Pie
( )American Pie 2
( )American Wedding
(X)Harry Potter
(X)Harry Potter 2
(X)Harry Potter 3
( )Resident Evil I
( )Resident Evil 2
(X)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
( )The Village
( )Donnie Darko
(X)Lilo & Stitch
(X)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
( )13 Ghosts
( )Signs
()The Grinch
( X)Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( X)White Chicks
( X)Butterfly Effect
( )Thirteen going on 30
(X )I Robot
( X)Dodge ball
( )Universal Soldier
( )Lemony Snickets: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
( )Deep impact
( )King Pin
(X)Never Been Kissed
( X)Meet The Parents
( )Meet The Fockers
( )Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
( X)The Terminal
( X)The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( X)Passport to Paris
( X)Dumb & Dumber
( )Dumb & Dumberer
( )Final Destination
( )Final Destination 2
( )Halloween
( X)The Ring
( )The Ring 2
( )Harold & Kumar (white castle)
( X)Practical Magic
(X)Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
()Hellboy
( )Secret Window
( X)I Am Sam
( )The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Day After Tomorrow
( )Child's Play
( )Bride of Chucky
( X)Just Married
(X )Gothika
( )A Nightmare on Elm Street
(X)Sixteen Candles
( )Bad Boys
( X)Bad Boys 2
( )Joy Ride
( )Seven (SE7EN)
(X)Oceans Eleven
( X)Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
(X )Bedazzled
( )Predator I
( )Predator II
(X)Independence Day
( )Cujo
(X )Pearl Harbor
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
(X)ET
( )Children of the Corn
( )My boss' daughter
( X)Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )Best bet
(X)Titanic
(X)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(X)She's All That
()Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
(X)Stepford Wives
( X)Mars Attacks
( )Event Horizon
(X)Ever after
(X)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(X)X-men 1
(X)X-men 2
( )Euro Trip
( )Jeepers Creepers
( )Jeepers Creepers 2
( X)Catch Me If You Can
()The Others
(X )Freaky Friday
( )Reign of Fire
( X)Cruel Intentions
( X)The Hot Chick
(X )Swimfan
( )Miracle
( X)Old School
( X)Ray
()The Notebook
( )K-Pax
(X)Monsters INC
()Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
()Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
()Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( X)A Walk to Remember
( )Boogeyman
( )Hitch
( )Back Door Sluts 9
( X)The Fifth Eement
(X)Spiceworld
()Star wars episode I
()Star wars episode II
(X)Star wars episode IV
(X)Star wars episode V
(X)Star wars episode VI
(X)Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
( X)Sweet home Alabama
( )Trainspotting
( )People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
(X)Sound of music
(X)Parent Trap
( )The Burbs
( )SLC Punk
(X)Happy Gilmore
( )Meet Joe Black
( )Wild girls
( X)Romy & Michelle's...
( )A Clockwork Orange
( )The Order
( )Troy
(X)Spiderman
()Spiderman 2
( X)Amelie
(X)Mean Girls
(X)Shrek
(X)Shrek 2
(X)The wedding planner
( )The Incredibles
( )Collateral
( X)The Fast & The Furious
( X)2 Fast 2 Furious
( X) Billy Madison
( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
( )Closer
(X)The Sixth Sense
( X)Artificial intelligence
(X )Love actually
( )Shutter
(X)Ella Enchanted
(X)Princess diaries 1
(X)Princess diaries 2
( )Fever Pitch
(X)The Graduate
( )Constantine
( )Million Dollar Baby
(X)Gladiator
( )Equilibrium
this may show that i dont have a life, but to me it just means that i am very well rounded in the entertainment dept. |
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| the end is near |
[May. 7th, 2005|01:10 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Belief-Gavin DeGraw | ] |
it is 1 am on saturday may 7, 2005. i have just finished my last classes of my freshman year of college. now all i have to do is take my 3 finals and pack up to go home. most of my stuff is going today because my parents are coming to get it. the rest will leave with me on friday after my biology exam. this year has been absolutely wild. i gained 38 new sisters, and although i have lost some along the way i am ever so grateful to have them. i have also made lots of friends outside of the greek system which have kept me grounded and kept me from becoming too "fratty". these friends i will never forget no matter where i go. my teachers have taught me how to have passion in whatever i do because they are so passionate about what they teach. they have also allowed me to expand my knowledge which is always good. i have had many experiences here both good and bad, the good outweighing the bad though. if anyone kept up with my first journal, you know how much of a hard time i had being here and away from the friends that i thought were the only ones i was ever going to have. i know now that usm is the place that i am supposed to be and that i am better for staying here. i have absolutely no regrets from this year i have done everything that i have wanted to do and more, which is a very good thing. it is now time for me to finish packing and i will write again after my finals are over. |
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